Looking for a Green Pasture!

I often rely on humor to help me manage life's circumstances. This week has definitely had its challenges. As I sit here tonight, I can't help but laugh out loud at the bitter irony of life. You see I believe that God has more confidence in me than I have in myself. If this week is any example, this is fact not theory. God has created a work in me and continues to work in my life. However, I think that this week He has been working overtime! Now please understand, I mean this lighthearted in every sense. I know how much He loves me and in all cirucumstances gives me everything I need! EVERYTHING! This is simply my humorous response to a week that has been less than optimal!

I think God appreciates laughter and humor and find it to be a much healthier response than other alternatives. With this being said, I am ready for a break! I think I've had enough character building for the week. I have more than sharpened my skills to persevere. I now am ready for the quite green pastures beside the still waters! Remember, don't take offense this is just my response to poke fun at a difficult situation.

Ultimately, I know this too shall pass. After all tomorrow is another day, let's just hope itl's not a repeat of this one! LOL =D

Insult vs. Integrity

The past few days I have found myself in a most precarious position. Thus, I find myself awake and sleepless at 3:00 in the morning plagued with the hauntings of my mind over the situation. You would think I would have learned by now that people do not always live up to expectations. But I think the "Pollyanna" in me, is still surprised when people do not behave well.

But herein lies the bitter irony, although someone has behaved less than desirable; manipulative; and has proceeded in a manner with total disregard to my input, thoughts or feelings; I can not lower myself to act in kind. Yes, I would love to get in their face and punch them with a rampage of sentiment which would totally be in line with their infractions. Believe you me I have played these conversations over and over again in my mind. However, I can not. Because when everything is said and done, I must live with my actions. Therefore, I choose to proceed with actions which are above reproach.

Now let me make one thing perfectly clear. This does not mean I do not stand up for myself. This does not mean that I don't speak my mind. Trust me I have no problem with this. What I do struggle with is how much I want to punch them with insult, but instead choose to articulate my position with intellect and grace. I think the punching would feel better in the short term, but know to handle it with grace helps me to live with a more clear conscience. Of course at 3:00 in the morning, it is difficult to take solace to this approach.

To the individuals who have procured your position within this posting, I will approach you with integrity and grace. However, do know that like an elephant I don't forget. For every action there is a reaction. I do believe that in time you will feel the consequences of your choices and behaviors. As for me, you will receive nothing less than my benevolence.

I'm not sure that this will be read or even understood. I do know how therapeutic for me it is to deliberate upon the written word; to place the rantings of my mind upon paper helps me to process. The opportunity to put into words the thoughts and feelings is calming. Perhaps I might even find my way back to bed and find sleep tonight after all. One can hope! =D